Here we are… it’s the beginning of December and I have absolutely no clue how this has happened. Again! This year is almost over!!! I can’t believe it!
It seems like yesterday that I got back from Doulos and moved to Mosbach.
And now it’s already a couple of months since I’m back in Giessen (at my parents place).
Odd how this can happen. I mean… this… well… time just passing by!
But if I actually take the time to look back at the last 12 months, I am simply amazed! Amazed by God’s faithfulness.
Not sure if you remember my last update in 2004 (or was it the first in 2005?!)? I announced this year to be: Heike’s year of trusting God!
And one thing I can tell you for sure… I forgot about this many times – But it seems like God didn’t!
It has been a year full of changes, full of answers to prayer, challenges, joy & fun, tears… all in all I suppose you may just call it ‘normal life’. But what is normal anyway? 🙂
Earlier on this morning I read something in the bible which I came across already a few times this year:
‘I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
Along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
And make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.’
Isaiah 42, 16
Somehow I find this verse so comforting. I never really thought about it much though. It was just one of those ‘nice’ things in the bible, one of his promises. But this morning I thought a bit more about it…
*Blind… he will lead the blind. Well, I have felt quite blind the last couple of months. Not sure where things were/are heading toward. Not sure where I was/am at…
*He will lead the blind by ways they have not known. Hm… not sure if the blind like that?! If I imagine myself to be blind, not being able to see anything, just trusting… also trusting my senses… I think I wouldn’t want to be too adventurous. I would take the same way to the supermarket every single time. (as I am a person appreciating some sort of routine anyway:-))
But this was the ‘breaking’ point for me. God says that he will lead me. But he will not necessarily follow my conditions. He’s the one setting the conditions, making up the rules.
He says ‘I’ll guide you! I promise!!! Trust me.’
And while God says that my mind goes of thinking ‘Now everything is gonna be ok. It will be a nice little walk. I have God with me. Guiding me. Showing me the way. Leading me. It can’t be too hard. I’m sure he will take me to some great place.’
And yes… eventually he will do just that! But the road might not be the nicest all the time. I might go uphill. I might get out of breath and hot and sweaty. We might take some stops at places I wouldn’t have chosen.
And somehow this was some sort of answer for me. I know that God’s ways are full of detours (at least from my point of view). And at times I find it really hard to appreciate or to even enjoy them. But his promises go on… he’s not only taking me to or on this ways that are unfamiliar to me… but:
*I will turn the darkness into light
*And make the rough places smooth
*These are the things I will do. I will not forsake them.
Amazing!!! God can be trusted. By now he’s used to silly Heike being scared and wanting to take the safe road. But still… he’s the one setting the conditions! He will take the best road. Whatever that might mean… something new, challenging, unfamiliar sometimes! Maybe this also means that you can’t even trust yourself or your own judgement… only God! Only God you can really rely on!
But then again he’s not cruel. He’s there, he’s leading, he’s even turning the darkness into light (just for you!), he makes the rough road smooth!
Ok, I better stop here. But these are just some thoughts on this verse. Some things that popped up. And I know that there is still so much more to learn. More unfamiliar paths ahead! Watch out for blind Heike! 🙂
When I wrote my last update I was about to make a decision about some future stuff… as you know I left OM with no job coming up. It has been kinda hard to not know what would be happening next and it took quite some time for me to relax and also to see the other side of the coin and to enjoy the time ahead.
And now… this time will be up soon. A couple of weeks back I agreed on doing the Line up for OM Ships new ship ‘Logos Hope’!
I must admit that I’m really excited about it. I’ll be moving to Bremen (northern Germany) some time in February 2006. Those of you who know Nelly Enns (also X Doulos Line up and my X Cabinemate)… she will be doing this line up too. There might be someone else joining us. I will be part of this team until summer ’06. What’s going to happen after that is still a (sometimes quite big) question mark.
But for now… I’m excited!!! 🙂 Very excited actually! 🙂
The next couple of weeks are pretty much planed. Some X Doulois coming to visit, me going to see some friends further away, Christmas, new year, spending some time in Mosbach… So yeah… I’m not too bored!
Oh! You know what… I attended a dutch crash course! And yes, now I’m able to say ‘Hi, I’m Heike from Germany!’without any hesitation. (Oh, and I can sing 2 Santa Claus songs in dutch!)! Will see what this is good for! Hope we will have a follow up course in January (to get over this baby dutch I just learned:-))
Okey dokey… that’s it for this year!
Thanks for taking the time to read all these thoughts I gave birth to over the months 🙂 (now… that sounds weird!)
A hug to you all…
PS: Some other maybe not THAT important stuff… but well:
*I haven’t written much about my hair lately… it’s SHORT!!! Real short!!! But I like it! 🙂
*Now that it’s so cold and dark outside I decided to read some good books. So right now it’s: Captivating, A tale of 3 kings, The sacred dairy of Adrian Plass